So, this year started off with me having a busy career, three crazy kids, and a challenge to run or participate in 24 official events (5k's, 10k's, bike rides, etc - basically, if they are giving you a number and a t-shirt, it counts). And in terms of "then I was here"...my here is at the beginning of this challenge and I am so looking forward to it being at the end of this challenge.
In the first four months, I ran 13 races. I did five 5k's, six 10k's, and two 1/2 marathons. For the most part, I was injury free. A little tug here. A little tug there, but very happy to have set some PR's and for the 13 new shirts in my wardrobe.
In April, I started to feel the weirdest tugs. It went from my lower back on the right side to the left pelvic bone/hip flexor area and then to the deep part of my groin (btw, groin is a FUNNY word and I try to avoid it!). It wasn't so bad that I couldn't run, but for a day or two afterwards, I felt old and sore and tight. And I kept on running. One morning, I woke up bright and early to do a quick 5-mile run with a neighbor. We did hills. We did lots and lots of hills. Hills are good. Those hills, that day, were not my friends. My hip hurt so badly that I didn't run for a couple of days. I tried again the next week, but it was shorter, less hills and the same result.
Fast forward through a summer of rest and recovery. Not my style to take an entire summer off, but I plan to run forever, not just the next big race, so I took some time off. It worked out well. I was super busy quitting my job and being a mom full time. And the extreme heat and humidity of this summer made it a tiny bit easier to get over the anxiety of missing my runs. I did my own version of physical therapy. Plenty of rest but also plenty of strengthening the muscles around it. I even bought those Sketcher tone up shoes to help balance out the muscles in the front and back of my legs. This had to work.....or so I thought.
In August I resumed my running routine. I have a lot of fall races lined up (at least the necessary 11). The first couple of runs went well. No pain at all during the run and a moderate amount later. All was manageable until I played tennis for a couple of hours with my oldest daughter and followed that up with the U.S. 10k Classic. This race is almost straight uphill. I made it up the hill with little pain in my hip, but with a time just under 59 minutes. This is about 6 minutes longer than my average 10k. And the next day, I could hardly move. Time to face facts. Whatever it is, it isn't fixing itself. I gave in and scheduled an appointment with an orthopaedic doctor. He clucked at me and told me I have likely torn my iliopsoas tendon or muscle and I am having a special MRI next week to determine the injury and the treatment. It may require surgery. Of course I asked if I could still run. He said someday. I said which day? He shook his head and said let's wait for the MRI.
The MRI is next week. I see him the next week. I am considering running a 5k tomorrow. I plan to do it quickly and with as much intent and focus as I can draw upon. I am sure he would not approve. but he did not tell me I cannot run. Only that I should do something with less banging.
So, I say to myself...then I was here...a runner. A fit, fun, happy mom who runs to strengthen my mind and body. It is ironic that the activity I choose to make me stronger has made me weaker. Here is a weird place to be.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
What did I do this summer?
What did I do this summer? As a company executive, seemingly responsible person, quite capable of contributing to the greater good of the economy and the business world, what didn't I do is probably a more relevant question.
What I didn't do was keep my then current job OR look for a paying job (unless you know someplace I can use my Kinz cash outside Webkinz word). I didn't solve any client issues, obtain any new clients, mentor any staff members, write anyone up, promote anyone, hire anyone, fire anyone, dash madly home from work to make a scheduled baseball practice, rush home to a sick child while struggling to ease the guilt of being torn between running a company and being with my children, argue over whose job is more important when it came to family responsibilities, write any management reports, take any continuing education courses, attend any huge company conferences, implement any new strategies or procedures, or worry about profit margins. I didn't juggle schedules, eat lunch at fancy restaurants, attend never ending evening board meetings, entertain or be entertained by vendors, plan fundraising events, check my blackberry every 45 seconds, or do anything else that would be considered productive in the business world.
What I did was quit my corporate America job, relax, sleep in, stay up late, forget my worries, gain perspective, ignore my cell phone, go days without checking voice mail, discard burdensome friends, avoid drama, enjoy my children, not enjoy my children, hang out at the pool, read Jane Eyre and Gone With the Wind, have parties with the neighbors, almost kind of sort of learn to keep score at a baseball game, practice eating sunflower seeds (an art not mastered), earn a great deal of Kinz cash on webkinz.com, and watch a whole lot of Dizzy Dean 8U baseball with some fantastic (old and new) friends.
I learned to do "nothing" (lest I offend a SAHM, I am in no way suggesting it was not work) this summer. Having been busy always doing something for a company for 25 years, I finally learned to do "my thing". Even though temporary (the real world is beckoning by virtue of the daily decreasing balance in my bank account), I finally enjoyed the life of a stay at home mom. I had days when I wanted to sell my children on eBay, when I felt more like a referee than a mom, when I thought I could never get the whole house clean at once, when I thought it could not possibly get any louder or hotter or crazier in my house.
There were days I wondered how I ever thought I could stay home with these monsters and truthfully, whose were they anyway? MINE would be so much better behaved and more grateful than these people calling me "mom". I see-sawed between the days I questioned my ability as a parent, wondered how they turned out as well as they have with me gone so much, beat myself up over what I missed, considered drinking in the middle of the day, wished they would leave for weeks at a time. And in the end, I I got to know me and to know each of my children so much better. I learned who they are becoming and how to better parent them going forward. I learned my limits. I expanded my limits. I learned their limits. I fell even more in love with each of them. I wondered what I DID to deserve them. And I wondered what I did to deserve THEM.
It was the GREATEST summer of my life.
What I didn't do was keep my then current job OR look for a paying job (unless you know someplace I can use my Kinz cash outside Webkinz word). I didn't solve any client issues, obtain any new clients, mentor any staff members, write anyone up, promote anyone, hire anyone, fire anyone, dash madly home from work to make a scheduled baseball practice, rush home to a sick child while struggling to ease the guilt of being torn between running a company and being with my children, argue over whose job is more important when it came to family responsibilities, write any management reports, take any continuing education courses, attend any huge company conferences, implement any new strategies or procedures, or worry about profit margins. I didn't juggle schedules, eat lunch at fancy restaurants, attend never ending evening board meetings, entertain or be entertained by vendors, plan fundraising events, check my blackberry every 45 seconds, or do anything else that would be considered productive in the business world.
What I did was quit my corporate America job, relax, sleep in, stay up late, forget my worries, gain perspective, ignore my cell phone, go days without checking voice mail, discard burdensome friends, avoid drama, enjoy my children, not enjoy my children, hang out at the pool, read Jane Eyre and Gone With the Wind, have parties with the neighbors, almost kind of sort of learn to keep score at a baseball game, practice eating sunflower seeds (an art not mastered), earn a great deal of Kinz cash on webkinz.com, and watch a whole lot of Dizzy Dean 8U baseball with some fantastic (old and new) friends.
I learned to do "nothing" (lest I offend a SAHM, I am in no way suggesting it was not work) this summer. Having been busy always doing something for a company for 25 years, I finally learned to do "my thing". Even though temporary (the real world is beckoning by virtue of the daily decreasing balance in my bank account), I finally enjoyed the life of a stay at home mom. I had days when I wanted to sell my children on eBay, when I felt more like a referee than a mom, when I thought I could never get the whole house clean at once, when I thought it could not possibly get any louder or hotter or crazier in my house.
There were days I wondered how I ever thought I could stay home with these monsters and truthfully, whose were they anyway? MINE would be so much better behaved and more grateful than these people calling me "mom". I see-sawed between the days I questioned my ability as a parent, wondered how they turned out as well as they have with me gone so much, beat myself up over what I missed, considered drinking in the middle of the day, wished they would leave for weeks at a time. And in the end, I I got to know me and to know each of my children so much better. I learned who they are becoming and how to better parent them going forward. I learned my limits. I expanded my limits. I learned their limits. I fell even more in love with each of them. I wondered what I DID to deserve them. And I wondered what I did to deserve THEM.
It was the GREATEST summer of my life.
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